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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26566369">Blue boy's death</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/lucasli/pseuds/lucasli'>lucasli</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Emotional Hurt, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Nightmares, Sad, Sad Oma Kokichi, implied panic attack, my boy just kinda breaks down</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 10:20:06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,967</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26566369</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/lucasli/pseuds/lucasli</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A lie. It had to be a lie. How else could Shuichi Saihara, Kokichis beloved, have died?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>105</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Blue boy's death</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Quick warning that there is a short description of how Shuichi's dead body looks. It's not very gory so don't worry about that. Kaito also punches Kokichi in case you're uncomfortable with that.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>No, this couldn’t be right. It absolutely couldn’t. It had to be a lie!</em>
</p><p>As Kokichi stared at Shuichi’s lifeless body, he felt his world crash down around him. His legs gave out beneath him, making him too crash down to the floor. <em>Why would anyone kill him? Why would anyone kill his beloved?</em></p><p>The others rushed past Kokichi, not even glancing at him. He couldn’t blame them. Their dear friend had just been killed. What were they going to do now? What was Kokichi going to do now?</p><p>Kaito sat beside Shuichi, grabbing his hand, hopelessly yelling at him to wake up. Maki stood behind him in shock. Everyone gathered around the lifeless body, everyone that was left of them. Everyone and the culprit.</p><p>It was a horrible sight. Shuichi was lying on his back to the floor. He had been stabbed in the chest and stomach making bright pink blood stain his dark uniform. His expression was filled with pain, fear and the empty gaze you get when losing too much blood. An expression Kokichi wished he never had to see on his beloved. Shuichi’s blue hair had fallen over his eyes, hiding the faint yellow tint in them. It reminded Kokichi of that time he found him asleep in the library.</p><p>Kokichi felt like he needed to puke, though nothing but tears poured out of him. Oh, tears. He never cried in front of the other ultimates, never truthfully at least. He wanted to wipe them away, but all his strength was gone. He felt as lifeless as Shuichi’s body.</p><p>The other students started to look around the room. What else could they do? Soon the trial would start, and they would once again have to stand behind those awful podiums that held them by their necks.</p><p>Kokichi didn’t move, or couldn’t. He sat still on the floor, staring at Shuichi and asking why. Why, why, why? Why had it been him? Why did he have to die? Why couldn’t it have been somebody else? Why hadn’t Kokichi told him all the things he wanted to?<br/>His tears poured harder. This time he managed to lift his arms over his eyes, though not enough to wipe them away. A low whimper made its way through his gritted teeth. No one noticed, no one cared.</p><p>They were still looking for clues. Still ignoring the crying boy on the floor. Soon they’d have to approach him. Ask him for his alibi, ask him for evidence, ask why he was lying.</p><p>But Kokichi wasn’t lying. Even when Maki told him to stop he kept crying. Even when Kaito told him to get up, Kokichi stayed put. He almost got punched for that, but Maki held Kaito back. It wasn’t any different from how those at school had treated him.</p><p>Eventually they were dragged off to the trial. Kokichi kept his distance from the others. He had mostly stopped crying by now, but his face was stained and swollen. He wondered what Shuichi would’ve done if he had been here. Maybe he would have wiped away his tears and comforted Kokichi. Maybe he would have followed Maki and Kaito. Maybe he would’ve ignored him like everyone else.</p><p>Kokichi couldn’t focus during the trial. His mind just wasn’t there. He didn’t say a word during the trial, didn’t have the energy to. The others seemed confused by that and accused Kokichi of the murder. He didn’t argue. Maybe it was better if they all died anyway?</p><p>Eventually Kaito had to stand up for him since there was no evidence of Kokichi being the culprit. He seemed pretty reluctant about it though. The reluctance didn’t shock Kokichi. They weren’t on the best of terms to say the least.</p><p>His mind was still at the scene. That bloody and gruesome scene. Floor spilled with pink blood and a dead child. Child, fuck. Kokichi hadn’t thought of that. They were all children, children forced to kill. The thought made his stomach churn.</p><p>Eventually the culprit was found and punished. Kokichi didn’t bother watching as they were executed. When it was over, he fell to the ground again. More tears pressed against his eyes, but Kaito had started yelling at him. Be a man, be hopeful, stop lying, his usual spiel. Nothing unusual at all.</p><p>“What would Shuichi do if he was here?” The sudden sentence made Kokichi stir.</p><p>“What would Shuichi do if he was here?”, he repeated, a wave of anger suddenly rushing over him.</p><p>“If Shuichi was here then we wouldn’t be in this situation!” he yelled. “If Shuichi was here, then somebody else would’ve died. And he’d probably get sad over it and you would come swooping down to comfort him instead of yelling!” Kokichi shakily stood up, glaring at Kaito.</p><p>“But you know what? Shuichi isn’t here and none of us can do anything about it, least of all you. So why don’t you shut up and take it like a man like you always say, instead of yelling at someone who’s just as sad if not <em>more</em> that Shuichi’s dead!” Kokichi didn’t register the punch until he was on the ground again. New tears started streaming down his cheeks as he looked at Kaito. He looked a lot like earlier: angry, frustrated, sad, betrayed.</p><p>“Heh, throwing punches at someone who can’t defend themselves? At someone who isn’t even the culprit? Yeesh, how brave of you”, Kokichi giggled.</p><p>“Shut up”, Kaito said, and left.</p><p>The others followed suit, leaving Kokichi behind. He couldn’t help but laugh at that even though he was crying. It was just so absurd that they were treating <em>him</em> like the culprit when that couldn’t be further from the truth. For the truth was that Kokichi loved Shuichi. He was still in love with him. It wasn’t like a school-crush, well maybe a bit, but he really loved the bluenette. But now he was gone, and Kokichi hadn’t told him.</p><p> </p><p>It was late when he returned to his dorm, it was always late when they finished a trial. He quietly sank onto the bed, burying himself under the blanket. The tears had stopped and become a headache instead. He felt like shit as he laid in the bed. It wasn’t a particularly comfortable bed either, but it was better than that at home. Where he lived before hadn’t really felt like a home, just a place he stayed for some hours before leaving again. Shuichi felt more like home to Kokichi.</p><p>Shuichi, Shuichi, Shuichi, it was the only thing he could think about. Him and how lonely he was. Shuichi hadn’t left Kokichi when he was alive. Maybe because they weren’t close enough to abandon each other. It was still a comforting thought though, that Shuichi was still with him in a way. <em>If only they had been closer.</em></p><p>Even when they first met there was something about the shy detective. Kokichi wanted them to be closer, wanted to latch onto Shuichi, but he lacked the guts to. Kokichi had envied Kaede for how easily she befriended everyone. She was honest and open, ready to help everyone and gave them hope. Kokichi was the opposite. He’d insult and annoy the others just for his own amusement. He knew he could be honest and nice but lying was always so much easier. Lying had always kept him alive.</p><p>After the first trial Kokichi thought Shuichi would step further away from them. Instead he came closer, trying to be like Kaede. It surprised Kokichi and he gave him the label “not boring”. Whenever Shuichi tried to come closer to him, Kokichi would step both closer and away from him. It was like a game of push and pull, or an extremely confusing dance. To Shuichi it probably seemed like Kokichi was being a dick again, but he didn’t mean that. He wanted to amuse and entertain the detective. Though it seemed his dance was too hard for him to keep up with.</p><p>Kokichi groaned and rolled over to lie on his back. His room was blue. All the boys rooms were blue. He learned that when he stole the monopads. Suddenly he remembered something. While he had gotten the monopads, he had also taken something else. Something from Shuichi’s room.</p><p>Kokichi leapt to one of the many piles in his room and started rummaging through it. After a few annoyed mumbles he found it, one of Shuichi’s uniform jackets.</p><p>The jacket was large in comparison to Kokichi’s small figure. He easily pulled it on over his own shirt and scarf. He almost let out a sob as the jacket engulfed him. If he imagined really hard it almost felt like Shuichi was embracing him.</p><p>Falling back onto the bed again, tears welled up in his eyes again. He was too tired to really stop them. Instead the tears just rolled softly down his cheeks. Kokichi decided to ignore them. His eyes fell shut, the days’ exhaustion getting to him. Whenever he breathed a whiff of Shuichi’s smell hit him. Strangely it calmed his nerves. Made him forget that the bluenette was dead. Made him forget he was alive.</p><p>Maybe it was a dream, maybe it was not. It felt like a dream, but wasn’t it a dream to have your beloved hold you close? Wait, beloved? Kokichi glanced up and saw Shuichi sleeping peacefully, holding him close. His usually neat hair was now a messy mop. A tint of blush painted his cheeks and his partly opened mouth made Kokichi’s heart jump.</p><p>Carefully Kokichi inched closer into Shuichi’s arms. It was like a dream. It was a dream. It had to be a dream.<em>Because Shuichi didn’t have a pulse.</em></p><p>Waving his arms before him Kokichi sat up. He was cold and sweaty, mind running fast trying to catch up with the dream. He clutched his stomach, trying not to scream. He must have already done so. His throat was so raw.</p><p>A sob escaped him, his whole body shaking with it. A wave of dizziness washed over him, making him lurch forward. It felt like he was dying. Maybe he was dying. Maybe if he was he’d get to see Shuichi again.</p><p> </p><p>It was morning. Tired purple eyes stared at the blue ceiling. Everything was blue for him. His tears were blue, his emotions were blue, his room was blue, his beloved was blue, his death was blue. Kokichi’s death would be blue too.</p><p>Slowly, he moved his limbs to sit up. The ground spun lightly when he stepped on it. Kokichi groaned. He didn’t want to get up. He just wanted to stay in bed forever. But he needed to use the bathroom, and then drink something. His throat was raw and mouth dry from the tears and screams he had gone through that night.</p><p>In the mirror he looked like shit. Well, he looked like shit most of the time but now was even worse. The bright bathroom light really went out of its way to show him that. The bags under his eyes were darker than usual. His lips were dry and skin gross with old sweat. Not to mention most of his face was swollen from crying so much. He felt disgusting.</p><p>Kokichi groaned again. Carefully he clutched his stomach, letting Shuichi’s jacket</p><p>embrace him, letting him closer.</p><p>Kokichi stood in front of his door. The anxious feeling of entering everyone’s shared world slithered in his stomach. He breathed in, gripping Shuichi’s jacket sleeves harder. He wasn’t ready. He never really was. He had never been ready to face this world of lies and blood.</p><p>More blue tears threatened to fill his eyes, but he pushed past them. Pushed past all the blue and into a different world of illusionary colours.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So yeah, that's that. I feel like I'm not that good at writing angst so I hope I got some practice out of this. I could have hurt Kokichi more, but he's went through enough trauma as it is. The ending also got kinda weird, but idk what to do about that, haha. <br/>Anyways I hope you enjoyed it, and if you cried you and Kokichi gonna be alright.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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